Well, this week's Running Up That Hill was originally going to be about (a) Elton's hitting the bigtime with his first-ever published work this week, and (b) the Ecto's super-savvy top secret plan to save Major League Baseball from itself.

And while that would've rocked (and may perhaps still rock a week from now), it can't hold a candle to the actual subject of this week's column:

Fat Elvis!